Happiness...

Original Posting Date: March 5, 2007

When will I be fully happy?
What is happiness after all? Is it a state of mind? Or is it the games our mind plays to keep us going?
It does not take much for a child to feel happy. A weird face, a song, or an amusing gesture makes him burst into peels of laughter. Why is then that as people grow up, the happy state seems more and more distant? Is the state of happiness more like the state of intoxication? The more you get used to it, the more you need the next time -to feel high.
Every day I pray to god to keep my near and dear ones and me happy. That is not too much to ask from God I guess. However, everyday as I ask the same thing from God, a question pops up in mind -What will it take to keep people happy?
When I was in school, I prayed to God very naively- I told him every time before an exam that if he helps me through this one, I would never ask for anything else in my life. It did not take me much time to realize that things do not work this way in life. Rather, we keep asking for and praying for more and more as we progress through life. Exams, admissions, results, love, weddings, children, parents, work, money, and the list is endless. I always got God’s help whenever I asked him for anything. Why is it then, that even after praying with all my heart and asking for the same thing over-and-over again (happiness), why do I feel that God is not granting me this wish?
A friend once told me that my happiness is up to me, it is just my state of mind. Which I believe is a good theoretical statement, but a tough one to follow. Though as I look back at it now, an interesting one. I always attribute my happiness to things that are not within my reach. I base my happiness on others or on things- If only I had my friends and family with me, I would have been happier; If only things turned out the way I had planned I would be happy; If only somebody behaved a certain way with me I would be happy; If only I earned a little more, if only I had a better job, a better boss, if only…
Things seldom turn out the way we plan them or want them. However, unhappiness or non-fulfillment is what keeps us going I think. Ever noticed a baby just beginning to walk? I remember watching this one parent playing with his baby, stepping a few paces back every time the child approached him with his wobbly steps. That parent was trying to push his child to the limit. How could he be so insensitive to his own child, I thought. What if the baby fell down and got hurt? But then again, if the parent had not challenged him, the child would have never taken the risk. If the parent had concentrated on the child getting hurt, and had not pushed him to take the risk, the child would never had learned to walk. Where did the child get the cue to concentrate on the task instead of the fear of getting hurt?
Life in some ways is similar to that parent. It challenges you to take the risks, it teases you to move forward and not concentrate on the failures. It makes you strong by giving you enough challenges and set backs, so that you become tough to face the future. You take a risk, fall, learn from your setback, rework your strategy, and move forward. Every time you fail, you learn a lesson in ‘what-not-to-do’.
Happiness is a teaser that life throws at us. It pushes us to move forward, and the more we move forward, the more it moves away. Then again, it gives us this hope, that if we try enough, if only we take the next step, we will be happy.
Does this mean that we stop expecting? Stop dreaming? Should we stop striving for fulfillment?...It might just be the key to ultimate happiness in this world and at the same time, a mantra to a non-human existence…